


A kiss to remember you by

by CocotteJenn



Series: Warden Ana Surana, Champion Alwyn Hawke, Inquisitor Violette Surana (aka the Sad Mages worldstate) [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Afterlife, Alistair is dead, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Injury, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 03:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16673977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocotteJenn/pseuds/CocotteJenn
Summary: After she is knocked uncounscious during a fight, Surana finds an old lover in the Fade who offers her words of comfort.





	A kiss to remember you by

Perhaps she had made a slight miscalculation when engaging the dragon. She had been cocky, thinking the beast was old and weak, and thus would be easy to take down. Wrong. Very wrong. In this case, “old” meant “incredibly powerful”, and Ana had been sloppy. Charging the dragon on the left side while Oghren was taking care of the right, the creature sent her flying with a swoop of her tail. Thank the Maker the ruins of the old Tevinter city were still there to prevent her from falling into the deep chasm. The other wardens were never going to let her live it down, she thought as her mind drifted into unconsciousness.

When she opened her eyes, Ana was no longer on the battlefield. She woke up in a small cabin, lying on a soft featherbed, with warm furs covering her naked body. She could have stayed in that bed for the rest of her life, but something within her forced her to get up. She found a set of silky robes to wear, lightly draped over a table, a small rose delicately placed on top of it. She smiled as she dressed and prepared a hot cup of tea.

A few minutes later, she stepped outside and sat on the porch for a moment. The sun was shining in the sky above the mountains, enveloping her in its warmth. Nearby, a shirtless man was chopping wood. Ana recognized his broad shoulders instantly. She let her eyes linger on his tan back, on the sweat dripping down his muscles as he brought the axe down on the logs. She could stay there with him forever.

He turned around and smiled at her. In her chest, her heart skipped a beat. “There you are!” he said as he came to sit next to her. “How are you, my love?”

She stared at him. At Alistair. “Am I dead?”

_Finally_ , she thought. _Please, tell me this is it. Tell me this is finally over._

He took her hand in his, his smile faltering. “No, not yet. And hopefully, not before a very long time.”

Disappointment washed over her. “I want to stay here with you…” 

He brushed her fingers with a comforting touch. “Ana…” His hazel eyes shone like ambers in the sunlight. “I love you so much, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to spend the rest of eternity with you.” For a moment, she hoped he would never finish that sentence. She hoped that she could still choose him over the pain that awaited her in the waking world. “But you’ve still got a long life ahead of you.”

She choked on a cry. “I don’t know if I can do this without you.”

“You can,” he murmured, cupping her cheek with his free hand. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I just miss you so much,” she whimpered, no longer able to hold back the tears.

He pulled her into his arms, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. “I know. I miss you too,” he whispered while gently stroking her hair. “But you have to keep going. You’ve still got people out there counting on you.”

He was right, of course. Anders, Nathaniel and Oghren were still in those ruins, fighting that blasted dragon.

“You might not see it yet, but these people, they’re your family. They won't give up on you, and neither should you.”

“But I love you,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry I never told you enough. I love you and I don’t want to lose you again.”

“And I love you too. So much more than words could ever convey.” He let go of her briefly to kneel in front of her, the kindness of his eyes easing her pain. “It may come as a shock to you right now, but you're allowed to be happy. You're allowed to love again.”

She grimaced. “No one could ever replace you.”

“And I'm not asking you to do that. I'm not asking you to forget me.” He looked at her with so much tenderness, so much love… “You've got a big heart, Ana. There is room enough in it for someone else.”

She wasn't so sure about that. She might have had a big heart once, but that was before the Blight crushed it into so many small pieces. She didn't even think she had enough strength left in her to pick up those pieces, let alone fix her broken soul. She doubted she could ever open herself up like this to someone else. Feeling so vulnerable again… No, she couldn't do it. But she would try. Yes, for him, she would try.

“Will I ever see you again?” she asked him, drying her tears with the back of her hand.

“When your hair is grey and your face is wrinkled.” He poked her nose, a playful smile appearing on his face. “When your time truly comes, I’ll be here waiting to hear all about your exciting tales of heroic adventures and epic romance.”

“If I have to wait this long, can you give me a kiss to remember you by? One for the ages?”

He kissed her with a smile, his lips warm and tender against hers. Kissing him again felt like finally returning home after months of longing. The passion coursing through her veins brought peace to her mind and made her heart thump in her chest all at the same time. He tasted of sunshine and freedom, or what Ana thought sunshine and freedom should taste like. She never wanted to let go.

The intensity of his touch brought her back to a place, near Redcliffe. On the shores of Lake Calenhad, there was a spot where Alistair had enjoyed spending time as a child. He had shown it to her once. They had gazed at the night sky, naming constellations. It had been such a beautiful night. From now on, this would be the memory of him she would choose to nurture. Not the heartbreak or the pain, but this one moment when they had been truly happy, when he had loved her with all his soul and she with hers.

Ana held onto him for as long as possible. She could feel him slip through her fingers like sand. So she gripped him harder. But the harder she clung to him, the more he seemed to dissolve under her touch, until she couldn’t feel his warmth around her anymore. 

She opened her eyes. Alistair was gone. Her vision was blurry, and her ears were ringing. She caught sight of a shape hiding behind the haziness. For a moment, she wondered if she’d died after all and Alistair had come back to accompany her on that final journey. Then, she recognized Anders’ unsteady voice.

“Thank the Maker! I don't know what I would have done if you’d…” His voice broke as he pulled her into a tight embrace, tears of relief streaming down his face.

“It’s alright, big brother.” She patted him on the shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“What’d I tell ya? She's a lot tougher than she looks!” Oghren proclaimed loudly. “Good to have ya back, Commander.”

Nathaniel gave her a simple, polite nod, but the smile on his face told her just how thankful he was that she still lived. “We should go if you are able. We still have the Mother to deal with.”

“Right, of course,” she groaned as Anders helped her get back on her feet. “Nice work with the dragon, by the way. You managed to take her down without my help. I’m impressed.”

“I can’t tell if you’re trying to praise us or insult us.”

She snorted. “Two weeks ago, you were being chased by sylvans while you had your trousers down, Anders.”

“Good point.”

“Now, let’s go take care of this darkspawn bitch, shall we?”


End file.
